it feels surreal, yet again!

I would like to begin my entry with endless syukur to the Almighty for His endless blessings and love that has showered me all these while. Yes, I am now a proud ummi to two kiddos, lutfiyah sakeena, who is an active, sharp, talkative and bubbly little toddler, also our new arrival, uzayr raqeeb, a little tender, delicate little baby who is now 8 days old. Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah!!!



The arrival of uzayr is considered not that fashionably late as he was just hit the 40 weeks 1 day to depart from the uterine world. He was being a loyal baby waiting for abbi to reach home on Friday and waited for Saturday to make a debut.Truth be told,I didn't hv any idea on hw to handle this second labor process. I was in induced labor previously for several legit reasons n for bb uzayr, I just couldn't find any though I still hd the idea tht it'll wl b induced labor as well..weird weirdo me.So,the anticipation was killing me.it killed me for nt able to knw whn the bb wl come out n worse, zawji wasn't there for me during the process.*clingy wife,what to do*

So,angle uzayr heard his ummi's prayers n he let abi did wht was supposed to do..early morning saturday,I had some intense contractions n I was counting them..20 mins once n it became regular..10 minutes once.I knew that this is it..I told zawji n we were prepared for hospital.I performd fajr prayer n got dressed, didn't hd time for brkfst..I was planning to hv brkfst at hsptl cafe*I was visualising hearty nasi lemak then*

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Ok, I found the above post in the draft section. Felt so guilty for not finishing this and decided to document some of uzayr's milestones here

• He is now 1 yo9mos active,talkative lil boy.at least he knows to say pleaseeee for milk,hihi
• can shout-like cry on top of his lungs and I swear the neighbours would think that we r hitting him 
• he has the energy of energizer bunny battery
• social skill can be improved more.he only plays with lutfiyah at home and was alone at mak's house.so,we need to train him a bit.playgroup it is!
• his hobby is destroying things i.e. smashing and throwing  lego figurines that we just made..banging things when he is happy or sad..It is just his thing.
• love bus soooooooo much and urmmm...Anna the doll,u know from the Frozen movie(thanks to your kakak) we had loaddds of other toys but u've decided..
• have a biggg appetite this lil man and not picky at all.I am a happy mom!

ok,gtg now!till then!

of being more professional

i've been here at Seri Malaysia Temerloh for about 4 days to attend a course on continuous professional development for DG41 teachers from Pekan and Kuantan districts. The course is scheduled for 5 days and we have until tomorrow till we call it a day. alhamdulillah, this course has benefited me in many ways as i got to refresh my memory on so many things i've learned before in IPG.



*i've written the para above for about few months n untill now,I still didn't get the cert just yet..a reminder to self to call the personnel at JPN bout this matter..
The only thing that stuck in my mind bout this course is the unreceived cert n the longest days in my life tht i had to torture myself by getting apart from bb lutfiyah n being pregnant at 12 weeks which ws already risky due to my unstable condition at tht time..i was all emotional too as I had to make the worst decision of hvng to let lutfiyah to be fed wth formula most of the time...though the risky pregnancy caused me to stop bf-ing lutfiyah,it still haunts me tht i am a bad ummi for nt able to provide wht's best for her...well,fret not nada..Allah is the Best planner n surely He is.

around the corner

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

i'm currently at 38 weeks of pregnancy and enjoying my long-awaited break at home sweet home...alhamdulillah,nothing more could i've asked than being at my comfort abode with the loved ones around. Mak,Ayah,Abang and Siti never fail me as they are my pillars right now. Le husband is now has to work at Kuantan after being here with me for few days..Yeah, he has his obligations too..Being apart with him at this point of time is never easy. I, for most of the time unable to attend to Lutfiyah needs due to my condition and I realized that how grateful I am to have him by my side and how I've taken everything for granted...I have no idea how truly indebted I am to him until now. O Allah, please protect Him and shower Him with your endless blessings..Ameen~


As other heavily pregnant women like me,I couldn't wait to see the cutie in front of my eyes but the thought of the long hours of contractions and the pain that I've to endure shaken me a bit. Guess I'm not quite ready yet. I do hope for au natural birth this time which means without having to go for induce labour but having said that, I have quite a strong feeling that I might have to do it again this time..With all the events happening and will happen, I like to think that is the best decision so far. I'm yet to discuss this with husband as he is also depending on me for the result, as I am the one who will face the ohhh and the ahhhhhh and the whatnot kan...So,I'm praying that Allah will decide what's best for me and show me the way out, insyallah!!!


Till then, adios amigos!

hello 2014,so long 2013~

it has been a while since the last time i write at this blogsphere...the time has not been a challenge for me but the drive to write has been one. the end-year long holiday has been fulfilling with activities but not that packed though. Being a preggie i am (28 weeks now), resting and lazing around is like a major thing which is not so healthy if done excessively, i know. But the temptation to lay flat on the sofa like a couch potato beats everything...haihhh~i am a lazy bum bum this time around..i truly am...

on another note, i am sincerely honestly thank God,subhanallah for zawji is always by my side to endure my emotional turmoils and my fickled-minded self. i know i've been quite hard on him which i always regretted after doing some reflections but i do hope strongly that he will always forgive me for what i've done..i just want you to know that it's the hormone sayang,blame the HORMONE!

my firstborn sweetie pie lutfiyah sakeena as of now 12/1/2014 is already 22 months old. She has done wonders these days, i tell you. I cannot stop myself being in awe upon seeing the milestones that she has achieved so far. singing and dancing are her fav now!shaking and jumping like nobody business..being her happy and cheerful self, lutfiyah possesses a good social skill and she seems very friendly with everyone. she loves crowd. Though she couldn't talk properly yet, she has master some skills like chanting ABCs, 1-10,alif-ya, saying 'assalamualaikum' before entering house and many more..I am a proud ummi *teary eyes* u are one little precious sweetheart. May u grow being a wonderful, hardworking, solehah girl that we will surely be proud of. May Allah guides u all the way through your journey.

2013 has been okay..I'm at a new school, the third school i've been in my 5 years of service. seeing new people and adapting to new roles and  jobs aren't a breeze. I have to start from square one again. It has been like a normal thing for me, the shifting from one school to another, but to settle down and be comfortable isn't that easy and it takes time. I do feel like a novice despite my '5 years experience' being a teacher. It is actually 4 years to be exact since my master degree took that 1 year off me. Lots to be learned in a year and I do hope for a better performance in this year,insyallah...untill we move again to the other part of the world in near future.

I don't really have a decent new year resolution just yet. But in general, I wish to lead a healthier life, improve myself as a mother, wife, daughter, God's servant, professional life and in my study life too..Who knows my Phd dream will come true one day, insyallah...A big day is coming soon. I can't wait to anticipate the natural birthing process with all the contractions and whatnot since I opted for induce labor with lutfiyah. Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir Ya Karim...

“Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia berada di dalam kerugian. Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran, berpesan-pesan dengan kesabaran” [Al-'Asr 103: 1-3] 

not ordinary,this time..

Sometimes, there are things that we feel longing for though we might have faced so-called the worst of situation. Since we had Lutfiyah, we definitely know that we really want the second asap. looking at our baby toddler, he has grown fast, too fast. lutfiyah now has achieved milestones,very bubbly, happy, creative,sharp and smart baby. u really make my days baby.ummi couldn't imagine my life without u n i'll do everything for u..keep on exploring n do what u gotta do! soooooo, alhamdulillah3, All praise to the Almighty, i've been carrying the little one inside for 11 weeks now it's something out of ordinary experience to me at least this time around..

i've had some bleeding from the third day of Aidilfitri and it had lasted for two weeks. I've had my one week MC and had been on bed along that period of time. The little one inside is fine so far. It is found from the scan that there's a blood clot inside my uterus that had caused the bleeding and hopefully it will shrink and when it become membrane, insyallah nothing to worry dah..I've been overly sensitive that I'm constantly worried about the precious..I don't want anything to happen to my baby. O Allah, u know how much we really want this. Please take good care of my sweetheart for u is the best Guardian. Ameen.

 

my girl is a toddler!

lutfiyah sakeena is now a very mobile baby toddler!walking around like nobody business, carrying n dragging things are her favorites now.she likes to make loud noises when she's bored n needs to get out from carseat, baby chair or anything that confides her from walking. she is also a very cheeky n smart girl, also starting to show signs of tantrums..appetite wise,not fond of anything rice-based food. she loves bread, crackers n 'kopok lekor' like ehemmm yours truly. she adores her soft toys esp simba. she now knows how to hold a pen steadily so much so that whenever she holds any sticks, she'll hold it like holding a pen. ummi n abi surely are proud parents babe :) even seeing your smallest achievements n the new skills u acquired..alhamdulillah..we r your biggest supporters n cheerleaders! go go lutfiyah!

lutfiyah is now feeds on both mother's milk n formula milk..this is a VERY tough decision/sacrifice that i had to make ever.it started when i was assigned to bring few students to a state level camping at Bentong for 3 days 2 nights n therefore, a few weeks before the camping, this hard decision was made. my zawji n i knew that this was the best decision as we did'nt have any other option. mr zawji couldn't come along as his work commitments weren't allow him to do so. so that's about it. anyway,deep inside our heart we knew tht this time will eventually come n this is the high time.we were thankful for the 13 months tht have been given to us to be able to feed lutfiyah exclusively with breastmilk. don't worry much, she is now still feeding on it, taking turns wth formula milk..she will continue until 2 yo insyallah!  

school holiday so far

salam peeps!

alhamdulillah for a 9-day-holiday that all teachers are enjoying right now..well, i hope most of them will be able to enjy it at least although not in the truest sense..as for me n my little family, this time has been pretty occupied as we r not yet reach our homey abode since the school break began..

part 1
we went back to nilai on friday n spent two nights there. kak yu n family join the bandwagon as abg mat had attended a course in Bangi. went for a ridiculously pricey dinner at bagan lalang n we swore not to come to that particular restaurant ever again. the next day, i went for a jog wth mr zawji for the first time ever since lutfiyah was born! kudos to me for breaking the wall n may this be a good start for more workouts n jogs :) then, we went to alamanda for our usual window shopping spree n met asyraf n rai for dinner at secret recipe..earlier on tht day, we attended syazwan's friend wedding at seremban. had a mouth-watering lunch as the food was yummylicious,seriously one of the best lauk kenduri i've ever tasted..mcm2 ada! here comes the best part......we spent a night at sunway tower hotel! yeay,alhamdulillah :) to make things even better, the hotel was just above sunway pyramid shopping centre n we had countless walking here n there browsing things n eating n drinking..phewww!i guess this is what i get from being a girl raised in KL n now living in Kuantan..dh jadi mcm org kelabu mata dpt msk shopping mall balik..deyy,apadahhhhhh! lutfiyah had a good time swimming in the pool n bath tb..hahha! i think she enjoyed the bath tub more than the pool because she feels more secure in the tub n the water is much warmer there..she enjoyed cruising in the water n looked around but abi was not yet ready to let her float on her own, as she'll sip n drink the pool water, so your abi said. we also had a good time watching ice hockey game at the ice rink n it was a good show. the players gotta hv a very sharp hand-eye coordination n eagle eyes to play the game. we were so amazed by the superb skills that were shown by the players.

part 2
we've had heard the news long before but we can just pray for the best. mak nong was in a critical condition as the cancerous virus plus the lung infection had attacked the whole body. there were also some internal bleeding n the doctors had done their best but nothing more could be done to bring it to normal again. we believe in Allah's plan n surely He is the best planner. mak nong had been sent home on Wednesday afternoon n alhamdulillah we managed to reached trganu at 2 a.m. on the same day. we could only prayed n recited yassin hoping for a good ending for her. Allah is the Almighty, mak nong had peacefully left all of us yesterday afternoon, leavng behind all of us who r still surviving n seeking Allah's blessings as we may not know our endings yet. may u rest in peace mak nong n we love u so much. we hope that Allah will protect u with rahmah n rahim. u r one kind n caring soul n u'll be missed....al-fatihah.....

she is now 11

our precious lil lutfiyah is now 11 months old today (9/2). happy birthday sayang comel ummi! we love u with all our heart..to the deepest of unconditional love tht we cld ever give u..we hope tht u will continue to be one strong, active, smart, persistent, cheerful, brave, well-mannered solehah girl tht we always adore n forever will..

u r now can stand on ur two feet withour holding on to smthng but it's just for 3 sec. but, nowadays u r not interested to show off ur skill tht much. so we thought tht by ur 1 yr old birthday, u might nt be able to walk just yet..u r now hv a stable sleeping pattern n u eat a lot too!u love playing n moving around the hse. ur fav playing area is under the dining table n u also like to crawl inside/outside the room. ur current passion is to smash the cabinets n drawers in the kitchen while ummi is cooking.

alhamdulillah, as for now, u r still surviving on ummi's milk. i will continue to my best ability to provide u the golden liquid untill u r 2, if Allah wills,insyallah! I will do anything for u luthie, anything...

HAPPY 11th month BIRTHDAY LUTFIYAH SAKEENA.we love u!

the new school

Alhamdulillah, it has been a month since the first day I stepped foot in the new school. This move from the previous school is very much look forward and I am really happy to give my service to the new school. everyday is a breeze as

Firstly: I am not rushing and get panic attack everytime I woke up at 6 a.m. and blaming self for not waking up earlier. I even dragged mr zawji into my own problem and my mood has been badly ruined as early as I woke up,realizing tht I won't be able to reach school before 7.30 a.m. Owh, my life was miserable just because of this little thing which is totally unnecessary.

Secondly: I am able to cook more often when I got back home from school which I do like doing so much. Tho I am not a good cook (mind u), I feel contented everytime I got to prepare simple and humble dishes that can be eaten by all. Most of the time I cook noodles, pasta, spaghetti, cucur ikan bilis and sandwiches. I will rotate the menu every now and then because abah n sayang don't like heavy meals at night, well, most of the time.

Thirdly: And the most important thing, I got to spend more time with baby lutfiyah and gives her all the attention tht she deserves. I am not easily tired as I am still fresh by 10 p.m. which is so hard to do before.

I will ramble about the new school, what I feel and how it has been treating me for the first month. Let me tell you that when Allah gives u something, He surely takes something from you as a replacement of the bountiful blessings that He has given. He always knows better and truly said, hijrah is always for the better. In my case, I've been more productive in my work and oh boy, I've been given quite a lot of responsibilities to be carried out this year. Am I complaining? No. Am I feel burdened? Partly yes. Am I feel bullied as a new teacher? Somehow, I do. Do I want to do my very best when given responsibilities? Sure, I do. I am well aware that these might not be much for some ppl. I might have shown some exaggerations here. But please, let me do this.

Here's the lists of tasks tht are needed to be faithfully and effectively taken care of.

1) Class teacher of 5 Ibu Nafis (such a bunch of nice students)
2) Teaches form 3 and form 5 classes (I never teach exam classes for real, well, I had replaced some tchrs for few months)
3) Guru disiplin (like seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?)
4) Setiausaha Badan Ketua Kelas ( how I wish I wasn't the one who got this post)
5) Setiausaha PIBG for 2013/2015 (I freaked out, got panick attack, muka hijau when I know about this post...how on earth that the administrators thought that I am suit for this post in the first place. On a positive note, I am the chosen one and they see the potential in me and they believe in my ability to carry out such a BIG responsibility. How can I not thank them..huhuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~ Ya Allah, only u can ease every problems, only u can wash away all the negative thoughts, only u can make rainy days disappear and brings out a beautiful rainbow. Only u can help me and to U I seek forgiveness and peace. Oh Allah, only u knows the best for me..Ameen~


Keeping my faith#stay strong#finding the silver lining among the clouds#summon all the positive vibes#syukur banyak2#

catch the bad wolf already :)

assalamualaikum wbth n hola peeps,

The most awaiting event that i've been dreaming for many weeks, has become a reality. we managed to go books retail theraphy! ohhh yeahhhhhhhhhh..better late than never they say and truly said it was all worth it. once i stepped my foot into the main hall, i was ecstatic, like a girl who is in a candy shop. my eyes beaming with joy and i can't stop smiling. we did a quick glance at all the sections, hoping to stop at any that interest us. And we began our journey in the books land at the cookery station..hah! we grabbed a few books and zawji was so enthused to see so many high quality and cheap-prized books that he felt like having them all..it was so enjoyable to see him like that which i find quite rare and amused at the same time. he was busy looking and sorting books (fiction, photography, calculus! etc). we took our pleasure with all the books as we reached there at 10 a.m. as people hadn't crowding the hall yet. alhamdulillah. so,yeah. we went separate ways later on and i hurriedly headed to picture books and children sections in search of books for lil lutfiyah. i managed to find books for her that had later on been sorted by zawji as some weren't that necessary. yes, i picked so many books that i didn't knw how to choose the best..so i let him do the job. while zawji queued up to pay the books, i went up to the stationery section to buy some stationeries that cost me around 200 bucks which comprised of a casio 'label it'. some pens, marker pens, some glues and post-it notes..the stationeries were all discounted for mostly 20% for each item. beside stationeries. i also got myself books on english teaching materials (duhh), world atlas book, cook books and a guide on handling crying and colic babies (ok,mommy mode on). After about three hours, we headed home feeling contented and literate..hahahh!

thank you BIG BAD WOLF for having us..will definitely see u again!owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

2nd

this entry is dedicated to our 2nd anniversary as husband n wife on 23/10/2010..the day that we promised each other to cherish this marriage,to embrace each day wth warmth and happiness n to stay strong together come what may...

so, to that, happy 2nd anniversary mr zawji! thank u for being there always for me,everytime when i need u, in bright and glommy days, in joyous and upsetting mood. i am who i am now because of u..i've learned so many things from this marriage n i could say tht somehow u hv shaped/changed my perspectives on many things which is for the better,i would say..thank you for being our protecter, for being a superdaddy to our lil munchkin, for being my best friend, for being my confidante and football mate, for putting up with my emotions,desires and my fickled-minded self and most importantly for always being around to support me to be a better person..even whenever i feel down like such a complete dork, u constantly believe tht i am this wonderful and great person tht u know (hahh!)..see,i nvr thank u enough sayang.

thank u for all the moral/emotional support that u've given me..it means a world, honestly.i do hope tht we could together improve ourselves n be awesome parents to our kids..so, here is to many more years togetherrrrrrrr!

single-handed mom

i've survived (so far) being a single-handed mom to my darling lutfiyah this school holiday..as much as i enjoy being with her and watch her grow every single moment, coping with a 8 month baby who is full of energy with unpredictable emotions can sometimes require us to use our physical and mental skills to the best. i used to be a person who is veryy, veryy patient. patient was my middle name until i found that it isn't the case when i've gained my new title, especially when the lil one was so cranky at night that she needs more hugs, nursing and even a playmate..owh yes.that's her new skill which we just discovered last night at 4 a.m. bring it on baby! oh my, it was so hillarious watching her trying to pull and toss us around  in the bed just to play with her n we surrender, half-awaked trying to play with her..and we take turns of course..lutfiyah only continued sleeping at about 10-ish and woke up around 12. Now she is asleep again at 5.15 p.m. and we'll see how long is she taking her nap..lutfiyah can be fully recharged aftr taking her 10 minutes power nap to be back in action!

lutfiyah sakeena sudah 8 bulan

alhamdulillah,our lil princess is now 8 mos 3 days n what she has become n achieved has been a miracle..she has passed through a milestone n reaching more each passing days..i remember tht she has started to 'mengensot' n 'menyulur' since 6 mos n started to crawl n pandai2 nk berpaut n berdiri sndri during 7 mos..skg dh pandai ampu lulut ntk berdiri berpaut dkt sofa..now,it's time to put on watchful eyes over this lil munchkin.we nvr knw wht she is up to..kjap2 tgk dh bwh meja n bwh kerusi..n the newly found mobility has made our heart skipped not only one but many times by the bumps n falls..sometimes,she acted tough like nothing happened n at times she'll cried her heart out..haiyooo~budak kecik yg sgttttttt active,banyak tenaga,bijak n manja..nonetheless,we'll let her explore the environment..learn from your senses,from the falls and whatnot..

she nvr failes to brightens our days n put smiles on our face..as ppl say children are our treasures n our entertainer..to quote wht wan had said during our visit to her's last saturday.'ustaz kata anak2 ni penghibur hati,'..well,true tht wan. lutiyah is now 7 kg+ the lst time we chcked whn she was 7+..ikut bulan berat die which is normal..she is not tht bam bam since she possess a small frame body but tok abah said tht her body is 'kemas' tht means she is solid..whatever tht means la kn..she got curly hair like both yours truly ltfiyah..so,thanks to ummi n abi for the dominant genes ya..hihii..abi has always said tht he wl truly understand u if one day whn u r a grown up n hating your own hair..hahahah..poor hair..ummi on the other hand objected tht because i think tht ur curly n volumned hair is cute n beautifullll..comel pe rambut curly2 kan..

she now eats as often as she wants n tht means small portions at a time..kdg2 rsa mkn byk btol lutfiyah ni..n tht comes with a lot of poops too..hihii~good digestion system ppl say..until now, she still survive on porridge wth pumpkin,carrot n potato..n also a big fan of banana,cherry tomatoes n watermelon..hihii..good girl mkn sayur n buah byk..don't be like abi who doesn't like veges n ummi who malas to eat fruit..i had tried to give her finger food but she doesn't reach tht 'princer stage'(i shld be right) n i take it as a signal tht she's not ready for tht just yet..she doesn't want to drink water from the bottle so we tried the syringe since she passed tht the last time..tu pn minum sket n ikut mood jgk..i wonder why we didn't try sippy-cup yet..will definitely give it a try once we buy it.

she likes to babble by herself (ikut mood jgk) n mulut riuh suara kuat mcm cikgu tok abah kata..tok ma kata mcm wan since wan ckp non-stop..cikgu jgk ke lutfiyah?tho it runs in the veins already,but pretty please pursue wth somethng else..rmai sgt dh educator..she has now developed a sign of stranger anxiety n ummi cannot-be-out-of-my-sight..sgtla manja dgn ummi skg more like balas dendam sbb slalu working days we barely had quality time together because ummi's day starts as early as 5.30 a.m. and only reach home at about 4p.m.but,it's ok..ummi suka..it's just tht abi sometimes is quite jealous for your unfair treatment towards him..kekeee~sleeping time is quite consistent n ummi barely had problems to settle u down..yeah,u hd ur times too but it's controllable..oh yes,u still need ur rounds of zikir n nursery rhymes occasionally before goes into ur la la land.as per tonight,bouncer is quite handy to get u to sleep. afterall, i'm grateful tht u don't need the  craddle..(out of words..lupa la apa proper name die)..alhamdulillah :) for tht.

ok, till then..oh ya.i'm on holiday mood now as the school holiday has just began..i need to write more during this school hol n to transfer my old multiply acc to this blogger site..need to do it pronto!wth zawji's help it is..org tak brape celik IT la katakan...n on top of tht,one truly importnt thing tht is I need to send off my resume to ayah su asap..Plan B is on baby!insyallah,i'll story mory ltr on once it can be talked about..hehaaa..

there's always a first time for everything...

yess,my cutie pie had recently down from fever for the first time at the age of 7 months...to be exact 7 mos 2 wks.many had told me tht lutfiyah had a strong immunization as she only got ths ltr at her age.well,alhamdulillah for the wnderful precious breast milk tht protect n give her the best tht she cld ever have as food :) praying hard tht i can continue breastfeeding her for as long as i can..ameen~

she was quite weak n slightly warm on 17th oct aftr she got back frm her nanny's hse. we were quite worried as she nvr looked so vegetable like tht..checked the temp n it ws read in farenht..great! so,none of us knew how to convert it to celcius..looked up for the conversion n it was 37+..so,alhmdlh,we were not tht worried n felt tht the fever won't last tht long. we got lutfiyah checked at the nearest clinic just for our peace of mind altho we knw tht there's nothing serious n we were right tht the doc said she looked just fine n active..however, her throat n tonsil were swollen n reddish a bit n tht cld made her feeling a little bit uncomfrtable..tht night, lutfiyah slept soundly as usual..

the next day,the body still felt slightly warm..tht night,she woke up every 2-3 hrs crying,maybe due to the sore throat.we gave her the med n i kept on breastfed her. at about 5 a.m., we woke up frm her crying, thnkng tht it was her usual feeding time.aftr two rounds of feeding, she still cried n it ws louder thn her normal crying. whn i touched her skin,it was quite hot n i told zawji bout it..minutes ltr,she fidgeted n zawji jumped out frm the bed telling me tht ths didn't look okay..he told me to dress up n we rushed to HTAA. otw, she puked on me n once again at the hsptl. she was really weak tht i cldn't bear seeing her like tht. we went to see the doc n alhmdlh,nothng serious n wht we afraid of didn't happen..it wasn't epilepsy n the doc said tht the fidgeting mvmnts my be caused by her feeling discomfort..we had sleepless nights since then..we monitored her temp n gave her the med every 4 hrs. we also damped her hair with air asam jawa continuously n it worked wonders bcos the heat lessen gradually.. 

today (21/10- sunday), she is getting well n back in action! alhmdllh,pls recover well soon lutfiyah..we knw tht u r one strong little girl~

 

the labor..*pending post*

it hs been a while...keeping up wth my cutie pie lutfiyah sakeena evrydy..seems like 24hrs is nt enough..everydy is a blessing n full wth surprises n laughter n lotsa love..the little,cute face nvr fail to bring smiles to my face..

i hv to start writing back..i wnt to talk about the labor process..yes,the experience i'll nvr forget for the rest of my life..ppl call it labor for very good reasons,ohh yessss..till then..this post is a reminder for myself to keep on writing n tht i owe myself some polishing in writing skills..russstyyyyyy man!

***********************and here goes the story****************************

it was my daily check-up wth prof gynae on tht day (8th March 2012). i hv planned some questions to ask him about my soon-to-be labour mainly about our plan to meet our lil darling earlier..so,we were wondering if it is possible n feasible and also the after effects if the procedure is done and in what way will it affect me n my lil precious...and not to my surprise, he said 'yes, why not!'. ohh yeahh, he is one ever positive man n nothing is a problem to him n tht's why we never doubt any of his actions and decisions..from his explanation, i can tell tht the procedure is just a normal one tht is done for early labour which is to induce labour using some kind of drugs n the contraction wl be doubled from normal labour. this is because the drugs wl trigger contractions faster n as u woman knows, it does come wth severe pain and the rest is history. Little did i know that the most frightful moment is yet to come. my gynae said tht the procedure can only be done if he is able to check the condition of my cervix n then to determine whether it is ready for labour. he inserted two fingers through my cervix and i jumped a bit n my heart skipped. it was tough to do because i was not relax at all..yeah,i was so embarassed n not able to calm myself, too shocked i guess..the most icky moment in my life.period.

i had a pillow talk wth mak that night n she asked whether i am that sure wth my decisions to go through early labour n i said of course because i need people (read: u,mak) to take care of me during my first week of confinement..as a young mother who r clueless of how to deal wth postpartum hormones n what more to deal wth a delicate lil one, a strong support group (read: my family) is what i need to face the most crucial time in my life tht i'm yet to experience

and so the day has come for me to face the battle..i was asked to check-in at the hospital so that my gynae could get me checked and briefed me about the procedure. thanks to ayah who was able to company me to the hospital until zawji arrived. we arrived around 10.30 a.m..i changed to the hospital attire and was attached to the CTG machine for contraction monitoring purposes. zawji arrived at noon as well as siti..they were there with me until mak, kak yu and her children joined us..thank goodness we decided to get a private room as it was packed wth my family..what more could i asked at tht time than to be with all of them,my ever supportive backbones..and so, i had series of minor contractions which i couldn't feel at all. my prof gynae only got in at about 3 p.m. and briefed me about the procedure.blablabla and inserted two giant-sized pills into my cervix to get the contractions going and oh boyyy! it really got me after an hour. it felt tht my backbone is kinda prickly and the 'zappy' feel of the contractions were at times, unbearable. my zawji, who was ever so accomodating and caring managed to walk me on the aisle outside the ward so that the labour process could be easier, as per advised by prof gynae..i managed to do three rounds of walking and climbing up and down the stairs while carrying tremendous pain.

Finally, the frequent contractions came with a gush of blood and water,indicating that the water had broken. after a plea of help and endless 'help me!' to the nurses, i was brought to the labour room around 8.45 p.m. i was too miserable and focus on the pain that i was being bitter to others. yes, i was bitter,said zawji..i didn't want to get strapped with the CTG machine and i refused to be consoled..hohoooo..blame the hormones and the pain! at the labour room, i was left alone while the nurses were preparing things for my delivery..i was screaming for help because i could feel that the baby was really cominggg. the nurses came to check my condition and to their surprise it was already 8 cm! they let me inhale some kind of gas to ease the pain and let me tell you, it did wonders! the pain was all gone and i'm in wonderland....then, i had to wait for prof gynae to reach hospital (he was at home at that time because he predicted that i won't be delivering until midnight or the next morning). when he arrived, the nurses asked me to take deep breaths and i was told to release the gas inhalation. they taught me how to push the baby out and after a few pushes, my lil one was savely arrived. alhamdulillah! but, the drama didn't end there..lutfiyah apparently got strangled with the umbilical cord and they had to quickly cut it to prevent her from getting drown. zawji was so impressed with the job well done by the gynae.well, he was a prof btw..lutfiyah was given a pat at the back for being a strong strong girl by the gynae. He wasn't expecting tht because the CTG reading was normal and for that, u r one tough baby girl and u hv proven us right in this 8 months! good on you darling and we are your proud parents ever :)

her milestones

At the age for 46 days,there's a lot tht Lutfiyah has achieved..well,at least wht most baby of hr age wld..she has strted to coo,paid lot more attention whn we talk to her..I love it whn she cries for help[means I need someone to scoop me up] n immediately stop wailing whn she heard my voice..hehee..she also responded by raising her eyebrows[abi noticed ths] she also has vry strong legs[kicking really well n hard too!]...she enjoys sounds,things tht rattles,shapes n colourful things..she respons well to all these..she also likes being on upside down position but only whn we hold her..mandi masih x suke sbb gayat n she'll cry n yell..owh yee,berdiri sgt2 suka,as if it soothes her..duduk yes but only when tok ma hold her..org laen agk fail nk wt cmtu.. she likes to grab things like fingers..it is really cute n calming whn she did tht..owhright,the most hillarious thing she did is grabbing her own hair n the next thng u knw tht she'll cry smpai nk pecah umah! Hahahhahahaaa..ape la bdak kecik ni kan..

N the most impressive developmemt is tht she is able to bring herself to sleep without umi or abi cuddles her around the house..yelaaa,mse ni sgt2 la mengantuk kan..tht's y she cn jst be on her own n the nxt second she's alrdy in la la land..good2,trosk
n usaha!

after quite some time..

Lst sunday was my official 'merdeka' day n what do u do when u alrdy got ur freedom?jalan2 of cos! N we've decided to make quite a long journey for the first time [for lutfiyah] to kuantan..

The journy took us about 4-5 hrs to reach kuntan,plus stop for nature call n diaper change..we deprtd frm nilai round 6.30 n safely arrvd at 11.00p.m.alhmdlh,lutfiyah behved well in the car seat,only when she's asleep..she needs some cuddles n hugs once she woke up n she also got very distractrd by the bumpy roads..biasalaa,lalu 'jalan lama' n there's nothng tht we cld do..mak thought tht she wl like the bumpy ride but unfortunately, it is not to hr liking..overall,she's a good girl n i also managed to gt some sleeps the car..how relaxing! Thnk u lutfiyah for nt giving umi hard time ths time..we'll definitely bring u jln2 again ltr as a reward fr ur good performance..hihii~

She also slept well on the night we arrved untill nw..she only wakes up for feeding once or twice at night [night for lutfiyah means aftr 1a.m.] albeit the hardship to gt her to sleep before 1 a.m.

Owhh,i forgot to mention tht tok ma,tok ba n acu who miss lutfiyah ever so dearly..terngiang2 suara lutfiyah mengamuk n nanges kt tinge diorg..tok ma even checked on u on the dy we arrved tau..so as tok abah n nek wan..u'r definitely the gem in th family dear!

42 days!

my bibiburp (new nickname for lutfiyah) is now 42 days and this marks my 42 days in confinement.yehaaaa..i'll be officially 'off' confinement by sunday.lutfiyah had gotten prolonged jaundice but alhamdulillah it was all cleared whn she was 30+days.my journey as a young mother(perlu ke young?)has been wonderful..though in the first few wks i wld say tht it was such an emotional turmoil n i was so overwhelmed wth motherly duties..i nvr regret nor complaint bout it but it ws all new experience n as a first timer,evythng has the ups n downs..nyhowww,i've toughend up n now able to nurse lutfyh single hnd..ahahh [of cos wth the support frm th helpful nursing pillow]
n as all new mums out thre who pln to exclusively breastfeed their sweethearts,i need to focus in doing so... do my best n be persistent n plss try not to whine n feel burden by all ths..breastmilk is lutfiyah's utmost nutritionl food tht she cld ever gt at ths age..i wnt to gve her the vry best tho my nipple cracked [freakingggg painnnn],smtms i do also feel hopeless n helpless whn i'm too exhausted aftr attndng to her needs..

Having said tht,thank u Allah fr ths opportunity..to be able to look at th innocent face n hvng countless great mommy moments esp when we stare at each othrs eyes r the joy of being a mummy..it's so special n sacred n beautiful..hopefully I cn breastfeed her until 6 months n insyallah,up till 2 yrs old..ease my journey o Allah..akan berusaha semampu boleh![breastpump baruuuuin mind!]ngeh2 :p



Umi loves lutfiyah sakeena sooo muchhh..nothng wl beat mine!

Photo Album 2012-03-29

unconditional love

It is nothing like mother's love to his daughter/son..the epitome of love n the highest level of love tht ppl cn receive in ths world.aftr our love to The Creator n His Messenger(Pbuh).
it is oftn tht ppl call it unconditional love bcoz it is,literally speaking,love without condition..all ur attention,feelings,heart,affection n compassion r poured to ur chldren,regardless hw thy behave,(cranky,grumpy,non- stop wailing n decided nt to sleep the whole night)u'll still love thm..unconditionally :) hebatnye sifat ar-rahman ar-rahim yg Allah pinjmkn pada kita kn...no matter hw hard it may seem,wht more to hv first-hand experience,the love wl defeat all th frustration,th bad feelings tht smtms r there whn u hv to endure relentless n unstoppable crying at 2a.m...

Children r God's greatest gift:).u r the chosen one Nada..i'm a proud umi to my Lutfiyah Sakeena..umi wl do her vry best to acoomodate to ur needs n be ur friend n no 1 umi to u..now,i wld like to dedicate the song the number for me by Maher Zain to u..kekekeee..


Umi hearts u vry muchhhhhhh