it feels surreal, yet again!

I would like to begin my entry with endless syukur to the Almighty for His endless blessings and love that has showered me all these while. Yes, I am now a proud ummi to two kiddos, lutfiyah sakeena, who is an active, sharp, talkative and bubbly little toddler, also our new arrival, uzayr raqeeb, a little tender, delicate little baby who is now 8 days old. Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah!!!



The arrival of uzayr is considered not that fashionably late as he was just hit the 40 weeks 1 day to depart from the uterine world. He was being a loyal baby waiting for abbi to reach home on Friday and waited for Saturday to make a debut.Truth be told,I didn't hv any idea on hw to handle this second labor process. I was in induced labor previously for several legit reasons n for bb uzayr, I just couldn't find any though I still hd the idea tht it'll wl b induced labor as well..weird weirdo me.So,the anticipation was killing me.it killed me for nt able to knw whn the bb wl come out n worse, zawji wasn't there for me during the process.*clingy wife,what to do*

So,angle uzayr heard his ummi's prayers n he let abi did wht was supposed to do..early morning saturday,I had some intense contractions n I was counting them..20 mins once n it became regular..10 minutes once.I knew that this is it..I told zawji n we were prepared for hospital.I performd fajr prayer n got dressed, didn't hd time for brkfst..I was planning to hv brkfst at hsptl cafe*I was visualising hearty nasi lemak then*

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Ok, I found the above post in the draft section. Felt so guilty for not finishing this and decided to document some of uzayr's milestones here

• He is now 1 yo9mos active,talkative lil boy.at least he knows to say pleaseeee for milk,hihi
• can shout-like cry on top of his lungs and I swear the neighbours would think that we r hitting him 
• he has the energy of energizer bunny battery
• social skill can be improved more.he only plays with lutfiyah at home and was alone at mak's house.so,we need to train him a bit.playgroup it is!
• his hobby is destroying things i.e. smashing and throwing  lego figurines that we just made..banging things when he is happy or sad..It is just his thing.
• love bus soooooooo much and urmmm...Anna the doll,u know from the Frozen movie(thanks to your kakak) we had loaddds of other toys but u've decided..
• have a biggg appetite this lil man and not picky at all.I am a happy mom!

ok,gtg now!till then!

of being more professional

i've been here at Seri Malaysia Temerloh for about 4 days to attend a course on continuous professional development for DG41 teachers from Pekan and Kuantan districts. The course is scheduled for 5 days and we have until tomorrow till we call it a day. alhamdulillah, this course has benefited me in many ways as i got to refresh my memory on so many things i've learned before in IPG.



*i've written the para above for about few months n untill now,I still didn't get the cert just yet..a reminder to self to call the personnel at JPN bout this matter..
The only thing that stuck in my mind bout this course is the unreceived cert n the longest days in my life tht i had to torture myself by getting apart from bb lutfiyah n being pregnant at 12 weeks which ws already risky due to my unstable condition at tht time..i was all emotional too as I had to make the worst decision of hvng to let lutfiyah to be fed wth formula most of the time...though the risky pregnancy caused me to stop bf-ing lutfiyah,it still haunts me tht i am a bad ummi for nt able to provide wht's best for her...well,fret not nada..Allah is the Best planner n surely He is.

around the corner

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

i'm currently at 38 weeks of pregnancy and enjoying my long-awaited break at home sweet home...alhamdulillah,nothing more could i've asked than being at my comfort abode with the loved ones around. Mak,Ayah,Abang and Siti never fail me as they are my pillars right now. Le husband is now has to work at Kuantan after being here with me for few days..Yeah, he has his obligations too..Being apart with him at this point of time is never easy. I, for most of the time unable to attend to Lutfiyah needs due to my condition and I realized that how grateful I am to have him by my side and how I've taken everything for granted...I have no idea how truly indebted I am to him until now. O Allah, please protect Him and shower Him with your endless blessings..Ameen~


As other heavily pregnant women like me,I couldn't wait to see the cutie in front of my eyes but the thought of the long hours of contractions and the pain that I've to endure shaken me a bit. Guess I'm not quite ready yet. I do hope for au natural birth this time which means without having to go for induce labour but having said that, I have quite a strong feeling that I might have to do it again this time..With all the events happening and will happen, I like to think that is the best decision so far. I'm yet to discuss this with husband as he is also depending on me for the result, as I am the one who will face the ohhh and the ahhhhhh and the whatnot kan...So,I'm praying that Allah will decide what's best for me and show me the way out, insyallah!!!


Till then, adios amigos!

hello 2014,so long 2013~

it has been a while since the last time i write at this blogsphere...the time has not been a challenge for me but the drive to write has been one. the end-year long holiday has been fulfilling with activities but not that packed though. Being a preggie i am (28 weeks now), resting and lazing around is like a major thing which is not so healthy if done excessively, i know. But the temptation to lay flat on the sofa like a couch potato beats everything...haihhh~i am a lazy bum bum this time around..i truly am...

on another note, i am sincerely honestly thank God,subhanallah for zawji is always by my side to endure my emotional turmoils and my fickled-minded self. i know i've been quite hard on him which i always regretted after doing some reflections but i do hope strongly that he will always forgive me for what i've done..i just want you to know that it's the hormone sayang,blame the HORMONE!

my firstborn sweetie pie lutfiyah sakeena as of now 12/1/2014 is already 22 months old. She has done wonders these days, i tell you. I cannot stop myself being in awe upon seeing the milestones that she has achieved so far. singing and dancing are her fav now!shaking and jumping like nobody business..being her happy and cheerful self, lutfiyah possesses a good social skill and she seems very friendly with everyone. she loves crowd. Though she couldn't talk properly yet, she has master some skills like chanting ABCs, 1-10,alif-ya, saying 'assalamualaikum' before entering house and many more..I am a proud ummi *teary eyes* u are one little precious sweetheart. May u grow being a wonderful, hardworking, solehah girl that we will surely be proud of. May Allah guides u all the way through your journey.

2013 has been okay..I'm at a new school, the third school i've been in my 5 years of service. seeing new people and adapting to new roles and  jobs aren't a breeze. I have to start from square one again. It has been like a normal thing for me, the shifting from one school to another, but to settle down and be comfortable isn't that easy and it takes time. I do feel like a novice despite my '5 years experience' being a teacher. It is actually 4 years to be exact since my master degree took that 1 year off me. Lots to be learned in a year and I do hope for a better performance in this year,insyallah...untill we move again to the other part of the world in near future.

I don't really have a decent new year resolution just yet. But in general, I wish to lead a healthier life, improve myself as a mother, wife, daughter, God's servant, professional life and in my study life too..Who knows my Phd dream will come true one day, insyallah...A big day is coming soon. I can't wait to anticipate the natural birthing process with all the contractions and whatnot since I opted for induce labor with lutfiyah. Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir Ya Karim...

“Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia berada di dalam kerugian. Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran, berpesan-pesan dengan kesabaran” [Al-'Asr 103: 1-3] 

not ordinary,this time..

Sometimes, there are things that we feel longing for though we might have faced so-called the worst of situation. Since we had Lutfiyah, we definitely know that we really want the second asap. looking at our baby toddler, he has grown fast, too fast. lutfiyah now has achieved milestones,very bubbly, happy, creative,sharp and smart baby. u really make my days baby.ummi couldn't imagine my life without u n i'll do everything for u..keep on exploring n do what u gotta do! soooooo, alhamdulillah3, All praise to the Almighty, i've been carrying the little one inside for 11 weeks now it's something out of ordinary experience to me at least this time around..

i've had some bleeding from the third day of Aidilfitri and it had lasted for two weeks. I've had my one week MC and had been on bed along that period of time. The little one inside is fine so far. It is found from the scan that there's a blood clot inside my uterus that had caused the bleeding and hopefully it will shrink and when it become membrane, insyallah nothing to worry dah..I've been overly sensitive that I'm constantly worried about the precious..I don't want anything to happen to my baby. O Allah, u know how much we really want this. Please take good care of my sweetheart for u is the best Guardian. Ameen.

 

my girl is a toddler!

lutfiyah sakeena is now a very mobile baby toddler!walking around like nobody business, carrying n dragging things are her favorites now.she likes to make loud noises when she's bored n needs to get out from carseat, baby chair or anything that confides her from walking. she is also a very cheeky n smart girl, also starting to show signs of tantrums..appetite wise,not fond of anything rice-based food. she loves bread, crackers n 'kopok lekor' like ehemmm yours truly. she adores her soft toys esp simba. she now knows how to hold a pen steadily so much so that whenever she holds any sticks, she'll hold it like holding a pen. ummi n abi surely are proud parents babe :) even seeing your smallest achievements n the new skills u acquired..alhamdulillah..we r your biggest supporters n cheerleaders! go go lutfiyah!

lutfiyah is now feeds on both mother's milk n formula milk..this is a VERY tough decision/sacrifice that i had to make ever.it started when i was assigned to bring few students to a state level camping at Bentong for 3 days 2 nights n therefore, a few weeks before the camping, this hard decision was made. my zawji n i knew that this was the best decision as we did'nt have any other option. mr zawji couldn't come along as his work commitments weren't allow him to do so. so that's about it. anyway,deep inside our heart we knew tht this time will eventually come n this is the high time.we were thankful for the 13 months tht have been given to us to be able to feed lutfiyah exclusively with breastmilk. don't worry much, she is now still feeding on it, taking turns wth formula milk..she will continue until 2 yo insyallah!  

school holiday so far

salam peeps!

alhamdulillah for a 9-day-holiday that all teachers are enjoying right now..well, i hope most of them will be able to enjy it at least although not in the truest sense..as for me n my little family, this time has been pretty occupied as we r not yet reach our homey abode since the school break began..

part 1
we went back to nilai on friday n spent two nights there. kak yu n family join the bandwagon as abg mat had attended a course in Bangi. went for a ridiculously pricey dinner at bagan lalang n we swore not to come to that particular restaurant ever again. the next day, i went for a jog wth mr zawji for the first time ever since lutfiyah was born! kudos to me for breaking the wall n may this be a good start for more workouts n jogs :) then, we went to alamanda for our usual window shopping spree n met asyraf n rai for dinner at secret recipe..earlier on tht day, we attended syazwan's friend wedding at seremban. had a mouth-watering lunch as the food was yummylicious,seriously one of the best lauk kenduri i've ever tasted..mcm2 ada! here comes the best part......we spent a night at sunway tower hotel! yeay,alhamdulillah :) to make things even better, the hotel was just above sunway pyramid shopping centre n we had countless walking here n there browsing things n eating n drinking..phewww!i guess this is what i get from being a girl raised in KL n now living in Kuantan..dh jadi mcm org kelabu mata dpt msk shopping mall balik..deyy,apadahhhhhh! lutfiyah had a good time swimming in the pool n bath tb..hahha! i think she enjoyed the bath tub more than the pool because she feels more secure in the tub n the water is much warmer there..she enjoyed cruising in the water n looked around but abi was not yet ready to let her float on her own, as she'll sip n drink the pool water, so your abi said. we also had a good time watching ice hockey game at the ice rink n it was a good show. the players gotta hv a very sharp hand-eye coordination n eagle eyes to play the game. we were so amazed by the superb skills that were shown by the players.

part 2
we've had heard the news long before but we can just pray for the best. mak nong was in a critical condition as the cancerous virus plus the lung infection had attacked the whole body. there were also some internal bleeding n the doctors had done their best but nothing more could be done to bring it to normal again. we believe in Allah's plan n surely He is the best planner. mak nong had been sent home on Wednesday afternoon n alhamdulillah we managed to reached trganu at 2 a.m. on the same day. we could only prayed n recited yassin hoping for a good ending for her. Allah is the Almighty, mak nong had peacefully left all of us yesterday afternoon, leavng behind all of us who r still surviving n seeking Allah's blessings as we may not know our endings yet. may u rest in peace mak nong n we love u so much. we hope that Allah will protect u with rahmah n rahim. u r one kind n caring soul n u'll be missed....al-fatihah.....